👉 6 months. 4 attempts.

Here’s how dropping out of college was a lesson in the art of negotiation 👇

3 months into college and I knew that this is not where I want to be.

The most difficult part of choosing this path was never the decision itself. It was convincing my parents to do so.

I knew it was not going to be easy (and of course, it was not 😅)

But here’s what I did:

👉 Attempt 1 :

The first person I spoke to was my father. Only him.

The idea was not to convince him at all. It was to light the cracker.

It was all about collecting data. Getting into his mind. Getting to know his point of view.

After 45 minutes of me putting out ideas and him reacting to them, I noted down all the points he had against the decision.

Conclusion: “You are going to college.”

👉 Attempt 2:

This time I only spoke to my mother. Same process.

Just listening to her. Getting the data.

The only difference between the two interactions was the punctuation marks in conclusion.

The first one ended with a full stop. The second one with an exclamation mark.😂

Conclusion: “You are going to college!”

What I learned in these interactions was that my parents were never against the decision of me dropping out.

All they were concerned about was their concept of “safety”.(Which I believe is just an illusion, let’s keep this for a later post)

Their concerns:

👉Am I serious about this? Or am I just acting on my impulses?

👉Do I know what I am talking about?

👉Am I aware of the negative consequences of my decision?

All their concerns were valid and I respected that.

I decided to take a time of 3 months. I had all their arguments with me. I spent a lot of time thinking and researching both sides of the coin.

👉 Attempt 3:

After 3 months of calm, I decided to talk to both of them together.

I had written a 4-page letter. It had all the logical points backing my decision. Graphs, statistics, stories, it had it all.

Basically, I built a good story.

After 30 minutes of feature presentation, all they did was smile. They liked the story. I had covered all their doubts.

But they were still not convinced somehow. ” We get your point, but no. You are going to college.”

I was expecting this as well. I knew what they were waiting for. I knew what I had to do next.

👉 Attempt 4:

I had done enough of talking. Now it was time to show them something tangible. Something to prove that I am serious about this.

On 24th September 2021, I received my first offer letter. I was hired for a full-time role as a content writer.

Here too, all I asked for was 3 months. If things don’t work out as planned, I would happily put my head down and go back to college.

It’s been 10 months now and things have worked out well. Both of them are happy 🙂

Anyway, what I learned about negotiation here was this:

1) Be clear with what you want
2) Be clear with what the other person wants
3) Align the incentives

This is all it is about. Incentive alignment 🤝